A Ghost's Guide to Therapy
by ModernElegy
Summary: After "The Fenton Menance" did you honestly think the Fentons would let the antics of their son go unnoticed? Of course not! So they sign him up for therapy. And what Danny thinks he doesn't need, may just end up helping him. Probably a OneShot Humor
1. Prologue

The Ghost's Guide to Therapy

The man sitting in the luxurious brown leather chairs stretched back a bit and propped his feet (shod in no-nonsense penny loafers in a shade of brown matching the décor of the office) on the solid mahogany desk. He reached forward to grab the cassette player (yes, ancient by most standards, but if it ain't broke, don't fix it) and clicked "on." He settled back into his seat to analyze his latest session.

_Friday ,__ December 13__th__, 2003_ a recorded voice said to him.

_Heard by: Dr. Veil_

_Patient: Daniel Fenton_

_Age: 14_

Static buzzed gently, until another faint "click" was heard, and Dr. Veil, presumably, started a tiny bit at the sound of his own voice.

_So, Daniel, is it?_

_It's Danny._

_Okay, then. Well, hi Danny, I'm Dr. Veil-_

_-I know-_

_-And I'm here to help you Danny. My job is to serve **you**._

_Sure…_

_So, Danny, is there anything you'd like to talk about?_

_No._

_Are you sure?_

_Yup._

_Okay then. We can just sit here._

_And stare into space, doing absolutely nothing productive. I like the way you operate, Doc. _Dr. Veil could sense the smile accompanying those words.

_After all, the boy continued, that's what teens do. __Absolutely nothing.__ … __Yessiree__, nothing at all.__ … We just kick back and relax, and laze around, and thoroughly squander the fleeting years of our youth, only to regret as we get older, and turn into utterly miserable lower to middle class working adults. … __Yeah … __Heh__heh__, nothing extraordinary.__ Nope. … __Nothing.__Unless you count the Thanksgiving Turkey attacking you when you're four years old.__Or __the toilet bowl trying to flush YOU.__Or the time when my sister __accidently unleashed the __ecto-weinies__ on me.__ Or the time the INVISIBLE GHOST ATTACKED. JUST BECAUSE THEY had to be all ADULT-__erm__ish__, they had to sign ME up for some useless rounds of THERAPY that will do __absolutely nothing to help and/__or advance my situation or reconstruct my frazzled __nerves!_

_... A turkey, Danny?_

_You don't know my family._

The doctor smiled.

* * *

A/N: Yup, it's super-short. But I had an urge to practice a bit of humor (it's not my thing: I'm an angst-bot). Don't be surprised if this stays a one-shot. But if (and when) I get an urge, I may expand it to include the actual memories. Most will be humor. It's a writing practice-thingie. I often do these, and I wanted to get a bit of feedback on this. Don't be afriad to be harsh, I want to improve on humor.

If I do expand this (which will be sporadic) each chappie will probably be written in a different style. I want to test my limits. :) Also, I will probably be posting a story of the same title on my fictionpress/dA account that is Original fiction. Right now, it's in pre-planning. Brainstorming. But I'll tell you if it pans out. (Shamless plug... :B)

Yes, GWB is coming along. Slowly. Expect an update this weekend/next week. I'm catching up with all my work, and trying to pace myself with everything else.

So... review please:)

-UA-


	2. Chapter One

A Ghost's Guide to Therapy

* * *

Chapter Two

* * *

Danny Fenton shifted uncomfortably on his seat in the room- the brown room. Everything was brown, from the desk, to the carpet, to the window dressings, even the doctor he was facing. Was it supposed to calm his nerves? Because it only resulted in his utter claustrophobia.

The older man opposite him smiled. Danny only shuddered. The man wasn't evil; if he was, Danny would know. He'd stared evil, menacing, vilified, and really-just-annoying in the face every day. But this Dr. Veil was an unwelcome intrusion in the web that he had carefully constructed for himself. A web that was fraying already.

And he didn't need some know-it-all male version of Jazz to snap one of his threads.

"So, Daniel, is it?" The man began in a voice that matched the interior of the office.

"It's Danny," the boy corrected, fighting to keep all but a hint of indignation from his voice.

"Okay, then. Well, hi Danny, I'm Dr. Veil-"

"-I know-"

"-And I'm here to help you Danny. My job is to serve _you_." The psychiatrist continued as if he hadn't been interrupted.

The teen only rolled his eyes as subtly as possible. "Sure…" he replied with a voice laced with sarcasm.

"So Danny, is there anything you'd like to talk about?"

The doctor's valiant efforts were rewarded with a curt "No."

"Are you sure?" He edged.

"Yup."

"Okay then, we can just sit here." Two could play at that game. If Danny didn't want to talk, he wouldn't talk.

"And stare into space, doing absolutely nothing productive. I like the way you operate, Doc." A smile spread across the teen's face, but Dr. Veil could sense the poker-emotions it concealed.

"After all," the boy continued, "that's what teens do."

He paused for a moment, his leg knocking anxiously against the thick, leather couch. "

Absolutely nothing. … Yessiree, nothing at all. … We just kick back and relax, and laze around, and thoroughly squander the fleeting years of our youth, only to regret as we get older, and turn into utterly miserable lower to middle class working adults."

He glanced up at the doctor, only to see the man gaze out of the freshly cleaned window, covered by heavy draperies.

"Yeah … Heh heh, nothing extraordinary." Danny swallowed, trying to fill the silence. "Nope. … Nothing."

A memory itched at him, and he just had to rant slightly. "Unless you count the Thanksgiving Turkey attacking you when you're four years old. Or the toilet bowl trying to flush YOU. Or the time when my sister accidently unleashed the ecto-weinies on me. Or the time the INVISIBLE GHOST ATTACKED. JUST BECAUSE THEY had to be all ADULT-erm, ish, they had to sign ME up for some useless rounds of THERAPY that will do absolutely nothing to help and/or advance my situation or reconstruct my frazzled nerves!"

Danny hadn't realized he'd started to monologue until silence descended over the room. The doctor blinked quietly at him, letting them both to fester in the thick quiet of the brown room.

Danny hadn't known he was exactly playing into the doctor's cleverly laid plot. He only breathed slightly, wondering what it was about the room that had made him, metaphorically, spill the beans.

Finally, the older man raised an eyebrow and asked, "A turkey, Mr. Fenton?"

Danny could remember it well. To a four year old boy (or even a fourteen year old boy) watching a turkey suddenly flip itself over and hiss at you, as if it's some kind of reincarnated-turkey-ninja bent on destroying anyone gripping a knife and fork at that moment, is not one of the most pleasant experiences in life.

And then, of course, to watch his sister kick its oven-roasted butt… no wonder he was in therapy.

But all he said was…

"You don't know my family."

* * *

**A/N**: Well, yeah. It's now gonna be a story- sort of. After this, there won't be much mention of Danny or the doctor, or the present situation. They'll all be random memories that he needs to "discuss." And, even though I loooooooooooove revelation fics, this will (probably) not be one: it's humor, and all of mine are angst.

But, I hoped this fleshed out the plot a bit. It may seem like Danny's outburst came from nowhere, but in the way I wrote it, you couldn't hear the awkward pauses, or realize that the doctor went with the whole "silence" strategy... so yeah, I hope this helps. And, yes, I am aware that the dialogue is exactly the same as the previous chappie. But the previous chappie was there to... erm... either be funny on its own, or whet your appetites (I hope it did both!).

So, no, I'm not dead XD I've just been UBER busy. This week wasn't so bad, so I got this out, but next week will be hell, so... I'll post something for V-Day (more like D-DAY if you ask me!) in my Simply Phantom oneshot collection. Go check it out!!!!!! (Shameless PLug... XDD) And GWB WILL be updated... eventually... but I had to rewrite from scratch three times so far and it still SUX!!1!one!1!11 (if you'll pardon my n00b)

-UA


End file.
